Halos set postseason rotation

John Lackey and Jered Weaver will pitch in Anaheim, Joe Saunders and Scott Kazmir to pitch in Boston, with Ervin Santana available out of the bullpen.

Sox should still be embarrassed about Fallon + this movie.

Playoffs? P- P- Playoffs?

Yeah!!!

Magic Number is 2!

And who doesn't love a little magic.

Another Day Off

But I am back blogging. The Halos are back in action tomorrow night at the Big A against the Oakland.

Fuentes shuts the door, Halos 3, Pale Hose 2

Torii goes deep.

Tonight, a one game makeup with the Yankees and this guy... I mean, who didn't do this as a teen?:

Keep on pitching in... Angels 3, M's 0

Lackey pitches a 5 hitter.

Good guy Torii Hunter wins an award.

Life is good in the land of Disney.

Angels 6, Seattle 3

Weaver strong as Halos Cruise.






SPORTS JOKES:

Allen Iverson tweeted on Wednesday "God Chose Memphis as the place that I will continue my career". He later tweeted "Oh, also, God says I don't have to go to practice".

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre said Wednesday that New York Jets officials knew of a severe biceps injury he was playing with last season but they ignored it. Favre then added, amazingly, "But enough about me".

Derek Jeter tied the immortal Lou Gehrig on the New York Yankees' all-time hits list. Afterwards, Jeter said, "This... is... the... happiest day of my life. Except for the day I banged Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johansson or Vanessa Minnillo or Mariah Carey. Other than those. the happiest".

Halos 3, M's 2 10 inn.

Palmer goes to 10-1. Aybar gets walk off hit.

Royals 6, Angels 3

Billy Butler hits 2 HR.



JENGEL'S 3 STRIKES:

1) Halos in Seattle tonight. Pitching matchup is a goodie, King Felix vs Zoso:
SEA: Hernandez (14-5, 2.65 ERA)
LAA: Kazmir (8-8, 5.68 ERA)

2) Seattle is where these guys live:



3) Angels 5 up with 36 to play. It's about as close to over as Jon + Kate!

Halos top Royals 2-1 in 11

That's 80 wins. Strong outing by Lackey.

JENGEL'S 3 STRIKES:

1) This photo is haze from the Royals Friday night fireworks display. They have some fun in the midwest.

2) Why is there no pro football today? Sucks.

3) Halos go for the sweep. Here's the pitching matchup: LAA: Saunders (11-7) 5.02 ERA, KAN: Hochevar (6-8) 5.74 ERA



The Royals have been just what the Doctor ordered.

Angels 2, Royals 1

Vlad gets the big hit.

JENGELS 3 STRIKES:

1) Much needed win, lets get this division taken care of so we can line up our starters for the ALDS.

2) Fuentes has been a great closer. Needs a good entrance song. Can I suggest he read this?

3) Did not realize the Royals had a mascot. Meet "Slugger":

Everything's up to date in Kansas City

Lets hope the Angels have not gone as fur as they can go, that poor Judd Fry does not die and that the Farmer and the Cowman can be friends already!

JENGELS 3 STRIKES:

1) Sciosh just on 710 ESPN talking about emergence of Kevin Jepsen. Need him and the bullpen to continue to step up.



2) The Dodgers and Angels are in first place and for the first time ever we could have a Freeway Series. In preparation, the 5 has been taking 'roids.

3) The Royals start Gil Meche. Seems like he's been pitching since the Tonya Harding scandal.

Go Halos!

We're Back and Angels Day Off.

The Halos get a much needed day off and travel to Kansas City today only 3 1/2 games up.

Tomorrow's pitching matchup: 8:10 PM ET, September 04, 2009
Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City, Missouri

LAA: Weaver (13-5) 3.89 ERA, KAN: Meche (6-10) 5.09 ERA

JENGEL'S THREE STRIKES:

1) Bats need to come alive. Look for Scosh to play with the lineup.

2) Kazmir was ok, not as good as the Zeppelin song.



3) I like this old wings logo.

Thanks to the people at trufan. I had fun blogging there. Maybe more with them in the future.

Jengel and the Halos goes on the road!

Getaway loss last night, no worries. Jhonny Peralta (parents odd spellers) beats you sometimes.



I am guest blogging for a sports website. More deets to come. Watch this space.

Meanwhile, the Angels are in Toronto, where I hope they hang out with Geddy.

UnbeWeaveable! Halos 3, Indians 0

A shutout. That's 5 straight. Keep rolling boys!

Halos over Tribe, 5-4

Bell gets 1st big league win!

Today 4PM PST 8/19/09-
Progressive Field, Cleveland, Ohio
LAA: Weaver (12-4) 4.12 ERA, CLE: Sowers (4-8) 4.88 ERA

I'm Flipping Out!

Halos 8, Orioles 5 - Vlad hits 2 dingers

Liability? Methinks not. I am Hamlet.

Torii's Back, Halos score 9 in 13th, Crush O's 17-8

A good day all around.

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Good.

Lackey sharp: Halos over O's, 5 - 1

Big John goes 7 IP with 6 Ks.

Orioles 16, Halos 6

Pie hits for cycle.

Angels get crabs

Off day yesterday. Tonight at Camden Yards: LAA: Weaver (12-3) 3.73 ERA, BAL: Tillman (0-0) 5.19 ERA

Love me some Camden Yards. Especially Boog's BBQ Pit.

Get out the brooms! Halos sweep Rays, 10-5

Matthews and Hendrick go deep. Trevor Bell makes start in major league debut.

IN OTHER SPORTS NEWS:

Memo to Rick Pitino: probably not a good idea to make adulterous love to woman on restaurant floor and then pay for her abortion.

Santana's back? Halos roll over Rays, 6-0

Angels up AL West lead to 5 as Santana pitches 3 hit shutout!

APROPOS OF NOTHING:

Julie + Julia makes you want to eat some fish with beurre blanc.

Vlad hits 400th - Halos nip Rays 8-7

Maybe Vlad is not as much the cripple he appears. His 2 HR's, including the milestone 400th to power the Halos to victory.

TONIGHT:

TAM: Price (5-4) 4.91 ERA, LAA: Santana (4-6) 7.20 ERA

AROUND THE LEAGUE:

White Sox Get Alex Rios on waivers.

Pedro starts for Phils tonight. Hope he doesn't hit someone in the head.

Dodgers' Chad Billingsley will miss his scheduled start against the San Francisco Giants on Wednesday with a strained left hamstring.

APROPOS OF NOTHING:

Q: Why is Peggy the nickname for Margaret?
A: Check the bottom of this page.

Sunday 8/9: Halos rocked 7-0

Rookie Derek Holland throws a shutout for the Rangers.

The Angels are reeling, and it doesn't get any easier with the Rays coming to town.

I feel like that Britsih ogre from Top Chef Masters when I say "there's not enough protein on the plate!

Halos Bounce Back

Weaver pitches gem, Halos take 2nd game of series with Rangers, 3-2.

Crucial rubber match this afternoon. Derek Holland, unknown even to this fantasy geek, takes the bump against Angels' ace John Lackey. Go get them, boys!

As for me, I'm going to put on some Jorts!!!

Last Night: Rangers 11, Halos 6

Texas hits 5 HRs cut Halos lead to 3 1/2 games.

The White Sox wore Shorts once!!!

For real. It was a gimmick thought of by the master publicity hound Bill Veeck.

Halos 9, White Sox 5

Erick Aybar leads three HR barrage

Love me some weekday matinee Baseball. Also enjoy weekday movie mats. I have always had the tendencies of a much older man. I also fancy part time jobs, saunas, velcro shoes and lunches consisting of coffee and crabmeat on toast.

White Sox 5, Halos 4

The Sox downed the Angels last night using that US Cell formula that has largely worked under Manager Ozzie Guilen, even culminating in an unlikely World Series Championship in 2005. Get a bunch of big, older DH/1B types (see Thome, Konerko, Dye) to pull up their Sox high, take some walks, and jack three run bomers over the short porch. An equally meaty hard throwing pitcher (see Buerlhe, Floyd, Jenks) will keep the team in the game. Last night the hero was old school Jim Thome and the pitcher Gavin Floyd.
The Angels recent offensive barrage seems to have hit a snag. Lets hope we bounce back today in the matinee. Ervin Santana takes the hill against lefty John Danks at 11 AM PST.

Baseball Musings

Every time I go to a game, I am still amazed by the crisp, clean, whiteness of the uniforms. The foul lines, too. And I always forget how they throw to each other in between innings, just to stretch out the arm. The 1^st Baseman does that hard underhanded toss that takes a few skips and then is fielded with a clean “thwop” by the shortstop and gunned back to from where it came. Even the outfielders play toss and catch. Either the rightfielder or leftfielder needs to borrow someone form the bullpen to throw with. The players run wind sprints up the leftfield line. Bats, balls, batting gloves. Peanut shells are crunching underfoot. Even the umpires are a spectacle. This was back when they still wore the maroon velure jackets. Now it’s sort of a boring grey shirt with a number on it, but I would take it! I love uniforms, and logos. Colors, logos and options. The foul pole is a bright yellow. The road uniforms of the Phillies are red. The Mets sport Blue and Orange. White with Blue pinstripes.

Open the program. Check the scoreboard for the starting lineups. The PA announcer will guide you, but if you get lucky, it is already posted. Put that pencil to work. They give you the little one, but I bring a big one with an eraser. Later, when I would do the cross country trip and see the stadiums, I would visit Jacobs Field. They, in fact, post the actual written lineups on an actual paper on the stadium wall. That is old school.

Oscar Clip - Golden Blazers (Glazer + Engel)

INT./EXT. MALONEY'S HOUSE

MALONEY 

That woman is driving me insane.  Now I remember why I spent so many hours on the job.

STU

Oh, it can't be that bad...

MALONEY

Listen to me, Stu.  I'm bored out of my mind.  Retiring was the worst mistake of my life.  Forget my heart condition.  Maybe they'll take me back, what do you think?

STU

Come on, Howard.  It's only been a few months.  Maybe you'll get used to it.  Besides, the business is changing, like you always said.

MALONEY

Now it's all about making a quick buck.  It used to be about relationships.  First house I ever sold.  The Clarkson family.  I still get their Christmas cards.

STU

You build your business on your reputation, you taught me that.

MALONEY

I don't understand all this new-fangled fiddle-faddle.  Online listings, virtual tours...  

STU

I know, everyone thinks they're an expert nowadays.  Guys like us are a couple of dinosaurs.

MALONEY

I want to show you something.  Hang on a sec.

He brings out an old framed photograph of them.

STU

Look at those kids. 

Maloney goes to the closet, old suits in plastic, etc.  Takes out his New Millenium Realty GOLDEN BLAZER on a hanger.

MALONEY 

Ah, here it is.  My old golden blazer.

He puts it on.  Tries to button it.  It barely conceals his pot belly.  Sucks in his breath.

MALONEY (CONT'D)

It still fits.

STU

You look good.

(beat)

Hey, Howard.  Let me ask you something.  All those years we were pounding the pavement, you ever do something you regret?

MALONEY

What do you mean?

STU

Did you ever make a deal you didn't feel completely confident about.  You know... cut a corner?

MALONEY

Absolutely not.

STU

Me neither.  I was just curious.

MALONEY

We took an oath. The day we put on these golden blazers.  To always treat the client with honesty, respect, and fairness.

STU

That's very nice.

MALONEY

That's why it said on my business cards: "There's No Baloney With Maloney". 

He pulls out a card, hands it to Stu.

STU

You still carry around your cards, huh?

MALONEY

I do. To remind me: At the end of the day, all a man has is his word.

(beat)

So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?

STU 

Oh....  I just wanted to hear that story again.  About the time you sold that duplex to the couple from Fresno.

MALONEY

Oh, that was magic...

a scene from Tara and the Gooch (Glazer + Engel)

INT. GEOFFREY'S RESTAURANT - EVENING

The set of the hit cable television show "Best Cook". A row of five COOKS are lined up in matching white jackets. The one whose jacket reads Phineas is actually The Gooch. 

Various CREW MEMBERS do jobs in the background, rigging  lights, checking sound levels, etc. 

The STAGE MANAGER calls out the countdown. 

 

CUT TO: 

Chef Geoffrey, and his co-host, the gorgeous LADMA PAKSHI. 

Gooch can see them from behind from his angle, and it is 

quite clear that Geoffrey's hand is on Ladma's ass. 

Gooch scans the audience, Tara sits in one of the first few rows. 

LADMA PAKSHI 

For our last challenge, your 

assignment was to make a dish 

starting with each letter of the 

alphabet. 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

Indeed. And tonight, one of you 

will win the challenge, and one of 

you will be asked to bundle up his 

forks and say Tally Ho. 

LADMA PAKSHI 

Leslie... 

Camera goes to a tough looking FEMALE COOK. 

LADMA PAKSHI (CONT'D) 

You were ok from "A" through "D". 

We particularly liked your Devils 

Food cake. 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

That was spot on. Well done. 

However, we had a big problem with 

the endive in dillweed vinagriette. 

LADMA PAKSHI 

I felt like I was eating bunny 

rabbit food. 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

Right, yes. Off of the cage floor. 

LADMA PAKSHI 

But even worse, was..... 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

Phineas. What were you thinking? 

A beat. 

CHEF GEOFFREY (CONT'D) 

Answer me, you donkey! You whale! 

Gooch remembers that he is Phineas. 

GOOCH 

You talking to me, Brosenberg? 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

I am addressing you, knave, and you 

are to address me as Chef Geoffrey. 

GOOCH 

Oh right, yeah. Chef Jeff. 

The crowd chuckles a bit. A startled Tara begins to realize 

what is going on - that Phineas is  the Gooch. 

LADMA PAKSHI 

You were fine until we got to M. 

And then your take on Marsala... 

Clearly you are not Italian. 

GOOCH 

Woah... hold on a second! 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

You do not speak in my kitchen 

until further notice. 

GOOCH 

Fuck you. You're a douche and a 

crap cook to boot. 

A hush falls over the crowd. 

GOOCH (CONT'D) 

You stole all your recipes from 

David Bournais. Every chef in 

America knows that. 

LADMA PAKSHI 

Security! 

Lights go up, general hubub. 

CHEF GEOFFREY 

Out. Get him out! You, Goochman, 

are a bloody wanker! 

LADMA PAKSHI 

Can we edit out the last part? Or 

even that whole segment? 

SELL!

The director of telemarketing rapped on the white greaseboard.

“OK. Can I have your attention, please? Please, stay off the phones. Please! You know, when I say get off the phones, it is because I have some very important information that I need to give you. You don’t just continue to talk. You can call your lover after the shift. I wait to call Takahashi, because he knows I am working. Your job is to sell subscriptions to the Arena Theatre. Not to find out if your lover wants you to pick up some milk. Do that on your own time.

First off, I  have some FYI stuff. “Cabaret” with Brooke Shields is currently going out on the road. This has just been announced to the press. It is confirmed. Now, that brings me to a very important point. Some of you callers are telling customers unconfirmed rumors as if they are fact.  For example, somebody in this room is saying that Christine Baranski is definitely going to be in “The Man Who Came to Dinner”. This is unconfirmed!  Unconfirmed! Why do you say it? Why? I got two calls today from some angry Lesbos saying that someone is telling them that Christine Baranski is going to be in “The Man Who Came to Dinner”. Now I know from my market research that one call equals fifty people. In other words, one hundred people now think this to be true. So this is a big big major problemo! If I walk by and hear somebody saying that Christine Baranski is going to be in “Man who Came to Dinner”. I will hang up your phone on you right there! Hang it up!

Now we are going to talk about sales. That is to say, lack of sales. This is pathetic. You know my very easily attainable quota for subscription sales in this room is fifteen sales a week. Which is nothing. If you can’t get fifteen sales a week with the great package that we have, then you shouldn’t be working here. You should bow out gracefully and spare me the embarrassment of having to fire you first. It won’t mean that you are a bad person. It will just mean that you are not cut out for this line of work. We will say goodbye and good luck, and you can go get a job at TicketMaster taking orders and making seven dollars an hour. I’m sure they’d be glad to have you.

Fifteen sales a week. Fifteen. One five. That’s three a night. That’s less than one an hour. Henry here does that in one night! God knows what he does in his spare time, but when he is here he sells.  He makes it work for him.  I think I know what the problem is, and your lack of response  when I was trying to get your attention at the beginning of the shift just a little while back was a good indicator. Lack of focus. This is not an eight hour job. This is a four hour job. We do not wind down here. We wind up. We work from 5 PM to 9 PM. The last hour is the best hour for sales. I have told you this a million times. So, thusly, when I see callers at 8:45 rifling through your bags, going to the bathroom for Godsakes, it baffles me to no end. Why would you do this? You’re shitting on yourself, and, worse, you’re shitting on me!

You have a great package to sell. You have a great great package to sell. “The four play classic sampler”. That’s a term which I made up to help you, and you’re not even using it. I am the boss and I am very smart and you need to listen to me. “Four play classic sampler”. A comedy, a drama, a classic and a musical.  The package is unbelievable. My God. These people think that they are going to get “1776” at the box office? No. No. No thank you, Jose. If they say, “I’m going to get ‘1776’ at the box office”, what do you say? You say, “Well you can take your chances, Mrs. Jones, but it’s very, very unlikely. Now, how many subscriptions did you want?” And that’s what you do, you assume the sale. You don’t say, “Is that okay?” or “Do you think maybe perhaps you might want to buy this?” NO! That is so weak. It makes me cringe. I walk by your desks and you sound so meek, like little baby lambs. You need to be aggressive, powerful, like warriors. You say, “How many subscriptions do you want? Four? Great. That’s four subscriptions at $150 each for a total of $600. Now, did you want to put that on your Visa, Mastercard or American Express?” Then you take the numbers down, and then you REPEAT the numbers! You go, “OK, 4344 5647 9899 0352, expiration?” Then you say, Let me see if I have that right, Mrs. Jones, that was, “4344 5647 9899 0352. Great. Have a great season.” I’m tired of the cards coming back as invalid because YOU didn’t repeat the numbers. I am not a secretary here to correct your mistakes. I am not a secretary.

You see, the thing about sales, is that they’re like life. If you can’t go for what you want, you will never amount to anything. I was a performer like you. And, yes, the rumors are true. I toured “The Music Man” with George Wendt. But, I decided that I wanted to make money. Settle down with my husband, Takahashi. And, so, I got into fund-raising. My first night I got a thirty – five hundred dollar contribution. And I never looked back.

One more thing: the coffee area is a disaster. We are not your maids. I am not a maid. I am very busy, Pierre is very busy. We are not going to clean up after you. Please, have some decency. If this problem is not rectified, we are going to take away coffee privileges and that will be that.

Now, get on the phones and SELL! Thank you.”

The meeting was over.